The other point Id like to make is that a womans hair is cited (somewhere,) as her crown. Also, it seems the people who take it upon themselves to enforce these rules are committing a greater sin of being cruel and punitive. For example, a womans singing voice is considered private in halacha but not her speaking voice. Noemie Lopian Devotes Her Life to the Holocaust After Learning About Her Roots at 36: We Cant Give Up Hope. The series is about a woman at a crossroads. Esther tells Yanky to be patient and that they will get it . In the final episode, she auditions for a spot in the school, singing her grandmothers favorite song as well as a Hebrew song from her wedding. In 1986, Deborah Feldman was born into the ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Satmar community in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Esty's story is based on a real one, recounted in Deborah Feldman's 2012 memoir Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots. Did it take time for her to adjust to having a shaved head? Some, like the character in Unorthodox shave their heads beneath their wigs to ensure that their hair is never seen by anyone else. She walks away and goes to a cafe where she opens a crinkled envelope containing the only belongings she brought with her to Berlin. The mikveh is a small pool used for ritual immersion to spiritually cleanse an item or a person. This is also part of the mind washing of their new reality of being a wife/mother because now that is all they are on earth for. According to some Hasidic authorities, the only way to ensure that a womans hair doesnt eventually stray from under her hat/turban/scarf/kerchief/wig/etc. In the subsequent scene, another reversal: As Yanky begs her to come back, he takes a scissor to his peyot, the curls that Hasidim wear alongside their faces. The woman tells her she does and asks Esther to . Hasidic Jews are famous for the large family sizes! My five year old daughter caught a glimpse of the part in Unorthodox where Estys hair was shaved and she had a visceral reaction to it. The Zohar that Rabbi Jack wants is in parshas Acharei Mos. Secure its future we need you! Men dont light the Shabbos candles, bake the challah, or run the home. I completely disagree. We are fast becoming the number 1 independent website for streaming coverage. The ceremony is called a "Chuppah" and it takes place under a canopy. Shira Haas petite stature is due to cancer. Chametz refers to foods with leavening agents, which are forbidden during Pesach. With a personal fortune of $8 million, Julia Haart is a successful businesswoman and now a TV personality. This is her happily ever after? Yanky asks Esther to come home so they can start over and that he made a mistake by asking for a divorce. But Unorthodox ends with a lot of unanswered questions. Her head is being shaved due to the belief in many orthodox communities that hair is another part of a womans nakedness and should be covered. One way is to apply hair gel and then twist the hair into curls using a brush. Our heritage is so rich on so many levels and I hope all Jews can find their places within it where they feel truly fulfilled and satisfied. Their bedroom has separate beds. Why Can I Choose My Hashkafa But Not What Halachos I Keep? The most glaring misrepresentation in the series is the always hot topic of family purity. The bride and groom each fast (refrain from eating) all day before the wedding. Rahav's portrayal of Aviv, a student who comes out as gay on the show, made history as Aviv was the first gay character in an Israeli children's show. . Gender roles are kept traditional: men are the breadwinners who go out from the home each day to work. Now it's Yanky who is shearing his locks in an effort to win her over. Hair restrictions are part of an extensive set of modesty rules which is called "Tznius" in Yiddish and Hebrew. If a person like Esty isnt happy and fulfilled by living such a life, she is welcomed to leave. Hasidic Jewish men typically wear sidecurls and a beard. The synthetic hair is considered more humble than wearing real, human hair, per The New York Post. Other Hasidic Jews go further with this and they do not shave at all. As adjectives the difference between orthodox and unorthodox is that orthodox is conforming to the established, accepted or traditional doctrines of a given ideology, faith or religion while unorthodox is unusual, unconventional, or idiosyncratic. The clothes worn by Esty (Shira Haas) in "Unorthodox" reflect her character's journey, costume designer Justine Seymour says. Does Esty get the scholarship?Mar 25, 2020. Enfamil newborn vs infant: [The Real Differences] 2020. The . permanence of memory and will not die. Do all the actors in unorthodox speak Yiddish? For more recaps, reviews and original features covering the world of entertainment, why not follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page? If the boundary is not complete and contiguous in every element (i.e., one of the elements of the boundary is missing or broken), no valid eruv can exist that Shabbat, and carrying remains prohibited. The average family can have 6 or more kids. The reason for the beard is as follows: there are regulations on how a man may shave his facial hair. Yanky, in a last-ditch desperate attempt to reconcile cuts off his peyos, only for Esty to tell him its too late. Now that shes been in Berlin for six whole days, shes decided unilaterally that its too late to try to work out a solution where they can be a family? Required fields are marked *. Netflix also announced, via a press release, that season 2 will "feature more fashion, family, female empowerment, faith, fabulousness, and of course, Haart." No release date has been set I guess a lot of anger and confusion grew in me from being that 9 year old girl reading the line thank G_d we were born men not women in a prayer book. Now its Yanky who is shearing his locks in an effort to win her over. The tradition of covering kitchen surfaces with foil during the Passover, or Pesach, all has to do with ensuring the surfaces upon which food is prepared during the Passover week are free of chametz. The main wedding hall will be divided with barriers between men and woman. So this matter goes beyond merely acting leniently vs. acting stringently. I do not believe in covering my hair, but if one were to look at Nativity sets that are displayed during Christmas and look at Christian nuns habits we will observe a modesty all three faiths have in common. Unorthodox is set in the Satmar Hasidic community. Weddings are a big deal in the Ultra-Orthodox community because families have alot of children, and they usually get married around age 18-21. The reason for this is to remember the sadness of the ancient holy temples being destroyed. It's a song that should signify her bond to a man, but she's turning it into something that can extricate her from that bond, using a voice that she wouldn't have been able to use in her former world where women's singing is prohibited. One in particular probably stuck in the minds of all viewers; when Esty cleansed herself prior to her wedding. Amazon, the Amazon logo, AmazonSupply, and the AmazonSupply logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. At that moment, shedding her hair represents a future. is not to have any. Yes, of course. After she is married, the beauty of her hair is only available for her husband to see. Rabbi Jack Abramowitz says on October 29, 2019, https://jewinthecity.com/2018/11/how-i-deal-with-thank-you-for-not-making-me-a-woman-shelo-asani-isha-blessing/, Lieutenant Aston Bright on Fighting Fires in Israel and Black Antisemitism, Should I Make Aliyah? 2 Months Post-Top Op + Dr. Pichet Review + Reveal etc. image attribution: Orthodox couple on Shabbat in Jerusalem 2 by David Shankbone. Oh but that would take all the fun out of moviemaking. Follow Ask Rabbi Jack on YouTube. (Her actual height is unclear; a site called Stars Wiki has her at 49, while another site, Wiki Celebs, has her at 52. Come along for the ride! What is the difference between Unorthodox and Orthodox? There are various ways in which the hair can be shaped into curls. ponfish.com, All Rights Reserved. In Exodus, as in Unorthodox, Grandma is everything good in Feldmans tumultuous childhood. The community was founded by a Rabbi from Satmar, Hungary, in the years after WWII. Does Esty play piano well? The Netflix series ends on a powerful season finale As Thrillist reported, Esty first chooses to sing Schuberts An die Musik for her audition. Next we will explain more about the modesty rules. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search. RELATED: Unorthodox True Story: What Was . Unorthodox Episode 2 begins with a flashback; Esther is getting taught how to be a good wife and providing purpose, which is procreation. It is considered a top rule which was commanded directly from G-d. . I think Leah recognizes that Yanky is emotionally turmoiled, and is not acting like Moishe. She is also taught the strict rules of when they can have sex and share the bed. Below are some things to consider when trying to figure out why did yanky cut his hair. But, she should at least have the decency to do it before getting married and pregnant to avoid damaging the lives of her husband and child. It's shot beautifully and the characters on-screen are joyous, but there's a sense of dread hanging over it. Unorthodox Episode 4 is a powerful final chapter as Esther goes through the motions to finally find her freedom and be unshackled. Perhaps the best-known allusion to the law of womens hair occurs in parshas Naso, in the section of the sotah (the suspected woman). What happened to Deborah Feldmans mother? 70 Short Shaggy, Spiky, Edgy Pixie Cuts and Hairstyles. School hours are always long, although it's longer for boys than for girls. Also, their feet and ankles will always be covered with socks. He then tells her he knows about the baby and tries to kiss her but she looks away. The 2020 Netflix original miniseries Unorthodox is loosely based on her autobiography. Wigs are often purchased from a merchant called a "Sheitel macher," which basically means "wig maker" in Yiddish. Whereas Esty keeps her pregnancy a secret from Yanky in the show and runs away to Berlin while still pregnant, Feldman stayed with her husband throughout her pregnancy and the two of them raised their son together for the first few years of his life. He takes her to a park nearby and gives her a history lesson about Germany and how millions of Jewish souls are dead and that shes living in it. But one moment in the final episode stands out from the rest. I see Yanky cutting his hair not for fear of losing Esty, but fear of losing his family (their unborn child). NO TOURS ARE CONDUCTED AT THIS LOCATION Unlike women's hair rules that only apply upon marriage, mens' beard rules apply immediately when a teenager starts to grow facial hair. What does the compass mean in Unorthodox? In fact, they probably will never be as clean as when we immerse them in the mikveh. Some of them even shave their heads, as we explained previously. The mother left with her younger daughter while Feldman remained in her grandparents home. Score: 4.3/5 (15 votes) . In the final episode, she auditions for a spot in the school, singing her grandmothers favorite song as well as a Hebrew song from her wedding. At the early age of 2, Shira Haas was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Orthodox Jews? Your email address will not be published. Are the actors in Unorthodox Hasidic? Authoritative talmudic scholars have determined that the meaning of this scripture are these sidecurl rules. April 30, 2020, The recent Netflix series Unorthodox portrays a young Satmar woman, Esty Shapiro (Shira Haas), who decides to up and leave the Hasidic religious community in Brooklyn for a better, secular life in Berlin. This is something utterly misunderstood by anyone who doesnt experience it firsthand. Her husband Yanky is determined to trace his wife. Again, with a little background information, one naturally comes to appreciate the way Orthodox couples date, as opposed to other cultures in the world. Rather, they are satisfied with just carefully keeping their hair covered. Unorthodox Episode 4 ends with Esther walking the streets crying, but you can tell she feels free still. It only works to cleanse something in the spiritual realm but without this background information, a person watching Unorthodox would think Yanky was calling Esty dirty in the physical sense. I have never forgotten it , I addressed this challenging prayer here https://jewinthecity.com/2018/11/how-i-deal-with-thank-you-for-not-making-me-a-woman-shelo-asani-isha-blessing/. There are plenty of women who dont mind shaving as this is there understanding of Jewish law. Rather, they allow it to grow indefinitely. 2014-present. He is best known for his role as Yanky Shapiro in the 2020 Netflix miniseries Unorthodox. Why do Orthodox Jewish women shave their heads? What is this about? Fatty In Trouble 2: Bull Ride for Android App, KicksandKaviar Dedicated To The Urban Camper kicks, sneakers, NOISEMAKERS: Live Hip Hop Interview Series, Know Mo Mobilizing Knowledge about Addiction & Mental Health in Alberta, Generalized Problematic Internet Use Scale (GPIUS), New report about Edmontons street-involved youth, Back to the Basics: Word of Mouth Marketing, Aacua By Maaman Review and Giveaway ** Closed**, The Humiliations of Motherhood: Enough to Scare the Crap Out of Anyone (Quite Literally), How to treat depression safely while breastfeeding: An interview with Dr. Kathleen Kendall-Tackett. When a match is proposed, the parents will vet each other based on each family's reputation, the talmudic academic accomplishments of the candidates, and other factors. Esty kept telling him it was 'too late', she has slipped away. For example, a woman does not touch or make physical contact with any man except her husband. I dress more modestly and never leave the house with my hair uncovered. Thank you for such a thorough answer sincerely appreciated! These coverings can take the form of wigs, hats, or scarves, according to the website. Site by FireCask. Image cropped and modified by size. They dont touch, as to preserve something special for married life so the dating process is short (sometimes as short as four meetings) to mainly check for chemistry between the two. Esther then goes to a pawn shop and sells her jewelry so she has money. 2023 jewinthecity.com. It's interesting to note that the length of the hair is based on scripture, but the style of curls is not based on scripture. What song does Esther sing in Unorthodox? If you found this content meaningful and want to help further our mission through our Keter, Makom, and Tikun branches, please consider becoming a Change Maker today. What is the difference between Unorthodox and Orthodox? There are, however, allusions to the laws of tzniyus in the Torah. Because womens hair is not as erotic as private parts. It is sensual, not sexual. Now its Yanky who is shearing his locks in an effort to win her over. Unlike Esty, the girls who are emotionally healthy, balanced, and stable actually welcome this momentous haircut. For Haas, who was diagnosed with kidney cancer at age 2 and saw her growth stunted as a result of her chemotherapy treatments, the role presented a unique challenge. Before we use new silverware, we immerse them in the mikveh. Please update your browser to one of the following: Chrome, Firefox, Edge, Unorthodox episode 4 recap removing the imaginary rules, Read the recap of the previous episode (3). Published by at 14 Marta, 2021. Give examples. Each tour has its own location where it meets, 100 Bogart StreetBrooklyn NY 11206 Can We Ever Win Over Anti-Semites, Or Will They Always Hate Us? We will explain more about these things in the following paragraphs. Theres a debate as to why. Unlike womens' hair rules that apply only upon marriage. G-d simply instructed it, and devout Jews are expected to adhere. Still, a carefully-crafted sheitel can cost up to $5,000. Yanky asks Esther to come home so they can start over and that he made a mistake by asking for a divorce. Become a Superfan by following us on your favorite social channels and like, comment, share our content to help Jew in the City reach more people. unorthodox yanky cuts hair. The latter; one who substitutes for an incapacitated Kohein Gadol is also considered a Kohein Gadol. The conflict going through Yankys mind was more paramount than Esthers decision he will always be tied back to his community whereas Esther has the chance to live her own life. In fact, the laws of family purity, such as the couple separating from each other for two weeks out of every month is one of the main reasons that divorce rates are so low in the Orthodox Jewish community. The show, loosely adapted from a memoir by Deborah Feldman, follows Esty (the remarkable Shira Haas), a 19-year-old who flees her marriage and the restrictive Satmars in Brooklyn for Berlin, where she has a right to citizenship through her maternal grandparents. Everyone does seem impressed by her performance, yet the panels decision is not shown. The Zohar, while important, is not a halachic work so ruling from when it contradicts the Talmud or works of halacha is not a simple thing, and Hasidic communities act differently in such a situation than non-Hasidic communities. They are making a clear open statement that they go above and beyond the minimal requirements of the rules. Then the young man and woman will meet under supervision to see if there is chemistry, then subsequently go alone on a series of dates. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Similarly,why did yanky cut his hair unorthodox? (SPOILERS AHEAD). [10] In April 2020, he signed with talent agency Lighthouse Management & Media. It can be taken as offensive, however, by some Jews, particularly those with strong Yiddish roots. Dovid Braun is appointed YIVOs Academic Advisor in Yiddish. Back at the hotel room, Yanky has a gift for Esther its a necklace with a musical emblem. All rights reserved. If she doesnt have any, what is she hiding from her beams? (Its also not retroactive; married women dont have to hide photos of themselves from before they were married.). Motivational and inspirational sources to all those parents to enjoy life with their babies. Usually within a few weeks or months, a marriage proposal will be made, and then it will be time to arrange the wedding! Just like many extreme religions, women basically are property to their husbands. Below are some things to consider when trying to figure out why did yanky cut his hair. The song was a favorite of hers and her grandmothers. However, the judges at the music school ask her to sing a song thats a better fit for her mezzo-soprano voice. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. They will never wear pants - only dresses or skirts which are long and will extend down below their knees or until their ankles. She travels to the root of her familys suffering: Berlin, Germany. In the Hasidic Jewish community, women must cover their hair once they are married. Learn more about KETER to see how Jew in the City is changing lives by changing perspectives. There is no forcing in a healthy family, even a Satmar one. So there is alot of potential housework to do! If Kimchis had 7 sons who each became a Kohen Gadol, does that mean she had 6 sons die in her lifetime? Her husband has a net worth of well over $1 billion dollars. [4][12], He speaks fluent Hebrew and English,[2] and he is a vegetarian. Genders are kept separate at schools, synagogues and even sometimes on transportation buses or in the street. Being ill forced me to mature early. Her group is not Satmar but they also shave their heads. No. This is a revolutionary concept in todays age. An energetic Hasidic wedding may end by around midnight or later. That one talks about shaving and mikvah, but not about the mikvah seeing anything. However in the past this was not as much the case. If the ones who had served had died, she wouldnt have been asked about her merits! But one moment in the final episode stands out from the rest. They can be long and often curly. No, the way sex is portrayed in Unorthodox is not accurate its a hateful libel. 6-10 children is typical, and sometimes they have as many as 12 or more! When You Breathe In Your Diaphragm Does What. What I dont understand about the women that DO shave their hair off, I mean so they just stay bald hidden under a wrap all the time? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Rabbi Jack Abramowitz, Jew in the City's Educational Correspondent, is the editor of OU Torah (www.ou.org/torah) . What is this? I guess it shows it angers me. Rather, they cover their hair in a variety of ways and to a variety of degrees. In traditional Judaism, men and women are recognized as different. There could be a concern that if their hair is long it will not be fully submerged during the dunk. In Haas' mouth, it almost becomes a torch song. This is done with supervision to ensure that the bride has been properly cleaned, and takes place in a jacuzzi-like structure . (attacked/kidnapped) By having their head shaved under their head covering it made them less attractive for potential attackers. With them, she discovers a new secular life, and decides to audition to be admitted into the school. It's probably not going to start at the scheduled time! First it will explain about women, and then it will explain about men. Sincerely, Its an act that has a very deep meaning beyond its physical expressionand its not only for modesty reasons, since in many times the wig is more beautiful than a womans hair.. But people ask questions: What are his/her core personality strengths and weaknesses? They do not trim or cut their hair here at all. . Would that not be tempting for others to see their hair? Yanky Twist Review from Crochet Braids Plus with Shay Nish. Right? The reason for Ultra-Orthodox males hair and curl rules is the following: the original basis is a Biblical scripture which states that a man should not round the corner of his head. Authoritative talmudic scholars have determined that the meaning of this scripture is that there should be a hair cutting restriction. After the groom places a wedding ring on the bride, he will stomp on a glass goblet on the floor. Once there, she begins to shed aspects of her Jewish identity and attempts to win a scholarship to a music conservatory. Indeed, Spitzer overlooks some of the most poignant moments in "Unorthodox" including Yanky's too-little-too-late awakening to the subjective awareness that makes it possible to love . Need help finding something to watch? Ohn ben Peles was saved from being part of Korachs rebellion by his wife. At that moment, shedding her hair represents a future. When it finally reaches the shattering finale, there's a callback to that earlier wedding celebration that's an extraordinary and almost hidden inversion of what came before. AJ, its the second. Below are some things to consider when trying to figure out why did yanky cut his hair. He is best known for his role as Yanky Shapiro in the 2020 Netflix miniseries Unorthodox. The genders are kept 100% separate for the duration of the wedding. To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. The people assessing her audition ask her why she picked the song she did; Esther explains she chose that song because her grandmother loved it and it was a secret song. This helps makes her seductive to him. His last effort must be to hold on to . The schedule will consist mainly of talmudic studies in the morning and early afternoon, and then in the late afternoon will be secular studies (mathematics, history etc). In Berlin, Esty meets a group of music students from the Berlin Music Conservatory. Her friends head towards her and she looks at them longingly she has a new community now. Women dont learn the Talmud. Furthermore, the Shulchan Aruch expressly prohibits women from shaving their heads (YD 182:5). image attribution: Judge Rachel Freier - Photo by Jordan Rathkopf. Things to consider. The parameters of the laws of tzniyus (modesty) are not explicit in the Torah. Yiddish, however, is not a dialect of German but a complete language one of a family of Western Germanic languages, that includes English, Dutch, and Afrikaans. She travels to the root of her familys suffering: Berlin, Germany. Ask any Satmar if she would like to sing in front of men and she would say unequivocally no. The fact that Esty cant sing in public because it isnt modest has its reasons, too, but of course Unorthodox just threw it out there to stir up more negative feelings toward this beautiful Jewish practice. Another belief states that a womans hair, once she is married, should only be seen by her husband. Does Esty get the scholarship?Mar 25, 2020. Esther sings her heart out and everyone is impressed. In the present day, with Yanky learning that Esther was out partying with another man, he storms Leahs house and demands to know where her daughter is before breaking down in tears. What does the compass mean in Unorthodox? This post contains spoilers forUnorthodox. A pixie cut is a short women's haircut you typically see on a fashionably gamine woman. So Esther decides to attend her audition with her mothers support and she is nervous. In the final episode, the timelines converge as Esty auditions for a scholarship that could guarantee her a future pursuing music in Berlin. Sometimes there are families who are particularly devout, where the young man and woman are not given a choice in the matter. Please support Ready Steady Cut today. At the petite height of 52, its said that her past kidney cancer is what stunted her growth (via MSN). . The 2020 Netflix original miniseries Unorthodox is loosely based on her autobiography. Note that some practices here like the couple openly holding hands, or the use of a secular musical tune, would not be done by stricter people. Each son served as the Kohen Gadol at some point, but more than one person at a time could be qualified to serve as the Kohen Gadol should the chief Kohen Gadol be impure or otherwise indisposed. The narrative jumps back and forth in time, depicting Esty's early experiences in Germany in tandem with the events in New York that lead to her escape. What is Julia Haart salary? It is only in the last generations that women have achieved such equality in Western society. Additionally,did yanky ask for a divorce? Sleek sides and a height above slim down the face, show off high cheekbones and statement make up. They are part of the Torah shebal peh our oral tradition, which was communicated teacher-to-student until finally being committed to writing in the Talmud. Shes always out exploringsweat-testing workouts and gear, hiking, snowboarding, running, and morewith her husband, daughter, and dog. I notice more people objecting to women that choose and I use that word loosely, to observe modesty than to object to women or men that show little in clothing modesty..it is very subjective anyway on what is considered modest. Esther wonders why her mother never cared about her and abandoned her Leah says that is a lie and that she was taken from her after they threatened her life and took her to court; she was terrorized and lost Esther in the case. For the women who do not do it, they don't consider it necessary to go to such an extent to fulfill the modesty requirement. However, the Netflix series only follows Feldman's book to a point. The way that many Hasidic Jewish men wear their hair in a curly style is simply a fashion mode that has become common. [1], Rahav was born in Tel Aviv, Israel to a British mother and Israeli father, and he grew up in an English-speaking household. Unlike the rules for women (which are based on the practicalities of modesty), the reason for Ultra-Orthodox mens' hair and curl rules is not clearly known. Their torso is always 100% covered. Your eyes are like doves, your hair inside your kerchief is like a flock of goats that stream down from Mount Gilad (Brachos 24a). Today, shuckling is generally understood as a physical accompaniment to the rhythm of prayers and as a way to concentrate on them more deeply. They are part of the Torah she'b'al peh - our oral tradition, which was communicated . A woman's husband would have asserted alot of control over her. Where is the mercy and love all religions preach? is candy a common or proper noun; Tags . Netflix also produced a documentary, Making Unorthodox, that chronicles the creative process and filming, and discussed the differences between the book and the TV series. What is this? Why do Orthodox Jews cover things in foil? Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jews have unique ways in which they wear their hair. The rule is that a man must not cut or trim his hair within a special facial region. The sidecurls - called "Payos" - are usually in front of each ear, extending downwards. Correspondingly,is etsy pregnant in unorthodox? This stringency is actually one of the strongest proofs that the Talmud and Zohar agree that a woman (even the most righteous woman) DOES have hair. For more Q&A, follow his new video series, Ask Rabbi Jack, on YouTube. [3] He was raised as a secular Jew and continues to define himself as such. These hair modesty rules only take effect when a woman gets married. After further consideration, however, she decided she wanted to go all-in so she went for it and shaved her head in anticipation of the wedding. However, the Netflix series only follows Feldmans book to a point. When a Hasidic woman is married, her hair must be covered in public. Empowerment. Unsurprisingly, it displays the Satmar community, and especially her husband, Yaakov/Yanky (Amit Rahav), as rigid, patriarchal and hopeless. But she doesnt go back to him.